So the 4l8 (a strip club in the warehouse district) got their license pulled and had to settle with this one girl for $450,000. Apparently they steal girls' money all the time and get physically violent with them and drug them. The cops have been called numerous times and wouldn't touch the place. Finally one girl had her dad record someone (perhaps Dick, the owner, I can't recall) while he admitted to beating the shit out of her and not giving a fuck. They were all set to go to court and then during arbitration the parent of this woman played the tape for Dick & his lawyer & they settled. And people wonder why oh why would I stick with The Club?
Some fuckpole manager hits me and I call *my* dad?? There would be no law suit, he would drive his fucking semi-trailer into the place and shoot the mutherfucker with whatever fire power he's purchased since my brother last saw his handgun collection. (I've never seen his NR4 joining gun collection. You know, guns scare girls).
So, Here Is How To Piss Your Neighbor Off, or, How To Have A Conversation With A Numb Cunt At Four In The Morning:
1. Come home from work about 3am.
2. Turn on computer. Not radio, TV, CDs, just the computer.
3. Cook Bowl of Deliciousness (refer to previous blog for further instructions)
4. Fuck about on internet for like half an hour.
5. Turn off computer.
6. Brush teeth, take out contacts, wipe war paint off of face.
7. Take off shoes.
Presto! Your done! Numb Cunt calls your cell phone to say she "heard a thump," and can I "keep it down."
I then proceed to explain to her that I am not being loud, actually I am just getting ready for bed.
Well, but I heard a thump (indignant)! I know you work late, but I have to get up in the morning and you know these old wooden floors so can you please keep it down?
I thank her for calling and then proceed to explain to her that the "thump" she heard was me taking my boots off. Not throwing them across the room, not dropping them from the ceiling, taking them off. I can take them off in the bloody living room from now on if she likes, but she needs to understand that she lives in an old apartment building with wooden floors. This doesn't mean I have to wear soft slippers and tiptoe about, this means she is going to hear me walking around and hear other noises from time to time. I am going to walk on my bedroom floor, and that is just part of apartment living.
But, please, I have to work in the morning...
Next time she calls I am just going to play "Cry Me A River," by Justin Timberlake. Maybe this will lull her into a coma. If I was a witch I would put a sound proof spell around my apartment. I am not. I can only pray God makes her deaf whenever I am home.
So then I'm stressed & pissed so I leave the landlord a message asking for a meeting or mediation or something, because I am getting really frustrated with her and she needs to understand noises are just a part of apartment living and I am not going to tiptoe around on eggshells just because she apparently is Very Sensitive and Has To Work In The Morning.
Maybe she just needs to get laid. Any of you want to shag up with some lady I've never seen or met?
And, the update on my sanity: we'll see how this goes. Generally I seem to be pretty happy and sometimes really satisfied with my life and the way things are shaping up and etc. Then out of nowhere I'll be all sad and shit, as previously commented on in other blogs. I think that is probably just a normal part of several pretty significant transitions, but sometimes I worry that actually I'm kind of a nut job.