So...I was thinking in the shower (I swear to god showers should come standard with waterproof dictaphones)that I can't have what I want in life if I haven't even articulated it to myself, no? This entry is dedicated to fantasizing a bit, working out some notion of my perfect living situation.
I want a house, largish but not gross. Cute, lots of woodwork and glass and plants and comfortable things to lay about on. Lots of windows and natural light. Plenty of rooms - a tv room, art/project room, reading room, large entertaining room, decent kitchen, lots of cabinets and counter space. Nice basement, equipped with lush semi secret sex room (altered medical table, whips, crops, canes, feathers, beds, toys, cleansers, etc.) Enough storage space. Lots and lots of bookshelves full of all kinds of books. Maybe an exercise room? A couple of bathrooms. Large tubs. Old, maybe early 1900's. Pets. A few cats and dogs, maybe some geckos or larger lizards. Not all the pets would be mine, some of them would be my housemates'. No damn birds.
Large outdoor deck and indoor patio screened floor to ceiling. Wooden fence. Maybe a hot tub? Plant-filled semi-private yard. Fruit and veggies and herbs growing.
Hm. Five to nine roommates, depending on the size of the house. Intersex, male, female, whatev. We would be close and loving, but have our own lives and friends (that would cross paths frequently). Rules of the house, cooking, cleaning, and billing would be established more or less to everyone's satisfaction (but subject to change if need be). Maybe monthly meetings set up to air grievances, solve problems, and generally communicate about household issues.
We would each have our own private rooms, but would be comfortable frequenting each others' space. We would be physically comfortable with each other, up to and including occassional sexual interactions as happened. We would be safe and generous in communicating.
While I'm at it, I think I will explore what my next ideal partner might have as characteristics...it's a little more difficult for me to fantasize about people than living situations. I'm not sure why I fear voicing these ideas...
My next in-depth partner (different than casual snuggling or fucking with people as happens) would be female or trans (M2F or F2M). I'm not really feelin the male wagon right now. I'm going to use the "she" pronoun for convenience.
She would be smart, well read, respectful, observant, tactful, emotionally mature, serious but not too serious, silly but not too silly, easy to converse with, adventurous, have travelled at least some, attractive (whatever that means, my physical tastes vary widely), confident but not arrogant, driven, self-motivated, creative, and generally interesting and likable. She will like to dance, she will be open to and seek out new experiences. She will inspire me to improve my faults, she will make me feel wonderful about my assets (as much as anyone can make anyone feel anything). She will have good taste in music, but not all the same music I already own.
She will be sexually interested in vibrators, dildos, cock rings, latex, whips, canes, spankings, wax, role play, dom/sub roles, long drawn out artful sexplay that leads to non-penetrative orgasms, bdsm gear (aka sexy fuckin outfits), more.
She will not me mine and I will not be hers. We will play with other people, separately and together. We will travel, seperately and together. We will become fucking masters of communication and balance. We will feel safe and trust each other. We will learn from one another. Perhaps we will raise a family together, with the housemate family I will also have.
I'm sure I could think of more, but that's pretty fuckin pie in the sky and I'll leave it at that for now.