Holy fuck my banner has a click rate so far of 7%. Probably that will drop as they keep running, but that's pretty much out of control. Thanks for stopping by everyone! So...
Anyway, it's beautiful out and although I had planned on scheduling myself for today, I think I will just do a double tomorrow instead. I'll call Jammer later (yes, Jammer. He used to be a prof. wrestler called Jammin Jeffrey or some such thing. The club is a strange little world) today with my schedule. I want to be home when Ponge gets home today. He went to Madison for the weekend to play soccer with his former team, whom he is pissed at because they only practice once a week now and are not taking the game as seriously as Ponge does.
So anyway, I would like to be home to talk to him because on Friday Jeremy confessed his long time crush on me and we snuggled and mildly made out. So I need to tell Ponge what we did and answer any questions and whatnot. I have hope that Jeremy will be someone who understands that Ponge is who I love and who is my primary partner. That I am not looking to love anyone else, or feel all gooshy with anyone. However, friends with benefits is something I would like to occasionally take advantage of. I think Jeremy also understands that just because we fucked around once doesn't mean we will ever fuck around again, and doesn't mean we have to be all socially awkward around each other.
Apparently he has had a crush on me since before I ever went to Senegal, which I find amazing because I was such a fucking basketcase before I left I can't imagine...well I was going to say I can't imagine someone crushing on me but then again I was with V and Jordan at the time so I guess there are at least 2 people that found my rampant alcoholism and crying and blowing my nose on my skirt charming. God that was a fun summer. Miserable and out of control in many ways, but a fuck load of fun. I felt super free and adventuresome and like a little kid.
I have to say I had no fucking clue Jeremy liked me like that until recently. I kind of picked up on it a little the past month or so. It was really odd kissing someone with a full beard, it made think of being a little kid and kissing my dad on the lips. Also although Jeremy had dated Amelia for a year and a half, apparently she never said a peep about her clit to him! How many men are running around thinking it's all about penetration and worrying about their dick size while women don't get off because they are too something to tell their partner the joys of clit play! Good fucking god, open your mouths people!
See, this sort of shit is exactly why I feel I need to not limit myself to just Ponge at this point. This sort of sexual variety in experience teaches me things about relationships and sex that I can only absorb so much through books and talking. I mean, I absolutely would be miserable without Ponge and if he ever decides that he can't deal with what we're doing I am going to have a real hard choice to make concerning what I need to do to be true to myself and true to our relationship.
Well, I need a cigarette (didn't smoke at all yesterday) so I'm going to go to the store. Besides that it's gorgeous out and I don't want to get stuck in my apartment listening to MPR and staring at the floor I just swept all day.