Ponge has an interview tomorrow for a job that's actually good. I hope upon hope that he gets it!
Pregnant Josh and Mary are coming over for dinner tomorrow. That should be nice. I haven't resolve the whole Iz deal. Last night I was thinking that I should take a little break from socializing & all-night long drinking. Just take like a month to not go out anywhere much and give myself some space to think. Just mostly be a homebody or maybe meet people that call me out for coffee or something calm.
Certainly I will find other ways to use my time. Ways probably less destructive and more rewarding. I can come home and read. I can amuse myself - I have a scarf to finish, art supplies, tons of books, the internet, whatev. Anyway if I didn't go out so much I would be spending less money. If I stayed away from the bars for a month I could buy another sex toy, since I spend at least $20-$40 everytime I go to a bar. I like good beer, and I can drink quite a bit of it. God I hope Ponge gets this job. In the time it takes me to find another job we could save up so much more money. At the very least, another $600 a month if he's paying for half of our bills. Plus I'm going to ask him to take me out to dinner, someplace kind of nice. I think he would be happy to and we both love to eat so much that a dinner date is like the perfect treat for us. And if he has work I can order cable! I said a long time ago that we could get cable when he got a job. It would be nice to have movie channels and on-demand...ah, little luxuries in life.
Mm. All of this feels very good. So that's it. It's the hermit life for me for a month. Anyway it seems like a good test. People that haven't heard from me in awhile who actually value me in their lives will make an effort to contact me. Like I've done with so many people in my life who act like hermits and never return calls. I'm not going to call anyone who lives in the Twin Cities, but I will return phone calls. If I get any.
Ponge can go out as much as he wants with the friends I'm avoiding, especially since he was a total recluse for the first couple months we lived here. Maybe the people we know through me will have an opportunity to develop a relationship with him besides him being my husband.