Just a quick note because I'm tired as hell. I had a good night tonight, which is good because I spent a fuckload of money when I was out of town and was down to like $100 in my checking. I have money in savings, but the point of savings is that you leave it there. It's not for regular bills. I don't know what it's purpose is just yet - maybe for emergencies or if there aren't any of those, eventually a car. A lot of the non-profit jobs I've been looking at require that you have your own vehicle.
Ponge and I had a really good talk this morning. Well, afternoon. We both slept in until about 3pm, it was really nice to wake up with him. It's been a long time. Usually he wakes before I do, but he worked overnight last night (temp job) so we got to wake together. I miss doing that. We cuddled for a bit, and then he said - so, can we talk? Yay! I'm so glad he brought up what's been bothering him, good communication on both parties is essential if our relationship is going to have successful longevity. He said he had some stuff that's been on his mind, and I said that I knew, and I was waiting for him to say something. I said I also had some things to say. We worked out our points of view concerning going out and spending time together. Basically, we are going to reserve one day out of the week that's just for us - whether that means hanging here at home, going for a walk, going out to the parks around here, whatever. And he is going to make an effort to get to know my friends and other people in his environment. I said that if he gets to know people and doesn't like them, then I can understand that he doesn't want to hang out with them but so far he hasn't even made an effort. I said that I am going to look for another job, but that it may take a couple months. It will take one month, minimum. By the time I send out my resume, it gets reviewed, I come in for a first and possibly second interview, and start a position a month is likely to have passed. That's if I even make it that far. A lot of the stuff I've been seeing I'm sure there are many qualified applicants for, and the nonprofit job market is really tight.
I printed out about ten job descriptions. Some of them I'm overqualified for, some underqualified. There was about one that I thought I was just right for. And none of them seemed that interesting. But I suppose if I am going to look for the long term, I've got to be willing to do things that aren't my dream just for the point of further exploring the work world and getting solid experience. If Ponge hasn't found a steady job by the time I get hired, our finances are going to get real tight. So for now I'm going to make as much as I can dancing, and save as much of that as I can without voiding our life of little spoils now and again.
And we had really nice sex today. I bought this vibrating cock ring that has a "pleasure ring" that fits around his penis and then this other part that sticks out and sits right on top of my clit. It has seven different vibrator modes and ohmigod is it nice. Normally if we haven't had sex in awhile we have to take it slow so my vagina can expand enough for him to fit in, but I was getting so much pleasure in my clit that he could jump right in and it felt great. I don't know why I haven't had something that vibrated in my life before this. I want a nice vibrator, too. That's about an $80 investment, which I don't know if I can really afford considering the above mentioned goals. I guess we'll have to see how lucrative these next couple months are and what happens with the other jobs situation.
I should really have sex before every shift. When I do, I seem to have a good night. I'm just a lot more full of energy and feeling sexy so I don't have to fake feeling sexy.
Before work tonight I bought a little bottle (about a flask's worth) of Bacardi 151, just in case I wanted a few nips. I could never get drunk at work, I think that would get out of control. I'm too much of a loudmouth, and too blunt while drunk for that to work. But on occasion other girls have offered me their liquor and that short warm buzz can pick up your spirits if you're feeling salty. Tonight I took a hit twice, probably not even two shots worth. It was nice, but it also made me kind of tired after it wore off. I was going to share with some of the girls, but I never got a private moment to do it. It's not exactly kosher with management if you are drinking and doing drugs at work, although a good number of the girls do just that, so I didn't want to offer it up in the locker room full of girls that I don't know that I can trust not to rat me out.
Well, I need to shower and get this stink off of me. Tomorrow night not-pregnant Josh & Mary, Ponge & I, and V & Iz are having dinner at V & Iz's place. It shoud be a nice get together. I think I'll make apple-cranberry crisp to bring for a dessert.