Arg. So I got off my ass and got to K-Mart today to get a test. I asked the pharmacy lady (the K-Mart by my house is all ghetto so you have to get a key to unlock the tests & condoms) if she recommended anything in particular. She asked how long it's been since I missed my period and I told her that I hadn't actually missed my period yet but that I had tender breasts and lots of peeing. So she recommended K-Mart brand because it was cheap and you get two tests in one box - then I could do one now and one in the morning, when supposedly my urine contains more hormones for the box to detect. I don't think they really mean the morning, I think they mean when you wake up (which they really ought to be more clear about), which for me was at 6pm today. Anyway, I bought the test and some make-up and shit for work and went home to take the test. I was kind of dehydrated so I drank like 3 glasses of water so that I would have to pee. Then I sit down and read the box, which says "able to detect pregnancy as early as day one of your missed period!"
Well whoop-de-fuckin-doo, my period isn't due for two weeks and there is no way in hell I am going to make it that long before finding out. I thought all the new tests were sensitive within 5 days or something like that? I guess not. So here I am with this test that I can't even use. Thank you, pharmacy lady. I mean, I guess it's my fault as well since I didn't read the fucking box but since I asked the pharmacist I didn't really think about it. Just more proof that being a professional whatever doesn't mean I can have faith in your competancy. Or my ability to spell the word competancy...So, I sat there staring at the box and contemplating how it wasn't going to fucking help me for another two weeks and how I absolutly was going to get to Planned Parenthood before then...
So, I tried anyway. I mean, I didn't have time to go buy another one before work and I just couldn't help myself. So I get ready and pee on "the absorbant tip" and stick the cap on and let it sit there on a flat surface without moving it blah blah blah.
The stick has a control which has a line in it if it's working at all and a pregnancy indicator which has a line if you are pregnant. So two lines - pregnant. One line - not. Know how many lines I got? Zero. None, nothing. The fucking thing didn't even work. The control line should have showed up regardless, even if the reading would have been a false negative.
Tonight after work (which was great, I took home $430 yay me!) some girls I was carpooling with stopped off at Walgreens to pick up some shit and I so almost bought another test. I swear to god there are tests that can read it after like five days. I'm pretty sure that at the doctor's office the tests are sensitive within 3 days of conceiving. But I didn't have the balls to do it. It really isn't that big of a deal among most workers, it's not like it would have been shocking or whatever and two of them have kids themselves and a lot of girls there are young with kids. But I just couldn't have that topic broached in that way. If we had gone out to breakfast or something I may have brought it up and conversed, but to have it brought up due to purchasing a test just didn't fly with me. So I guess either I get another goddamned test tomorrow and go to Planned Parenthood ASAP, or I wait and see if I can just go to PP on Monday.
Thank god I took tomorrow off. Dammit I wish I knew. If I'm not, I am going to get drunk or something to celebrate. If I am, well. Can you tell the less enthused part of me is speaking a little louder this morning?