Bleh, I'm sleep deprived and hung over and some chemical smell is lingering in the air (paint?) so this entry is going to be somewhat disjointed.
I'm feeling a little irritated...I called Tom to see if he wanted to go out for breakfast (I left a message) and he called back without having listened to the message and said, "what do you need?" Like I never call for social purposes and I just call for favors??
Also the other day we were supposed to meet at his house and walk to yea ol bar. Eventually I called him to see what the deal was because he was supposed to have called me to let me know he was done going out to eat. Well he decided not to go out to the bar and when I said uh thanks for calling since I was waiting around for him he was all like, uh, yeah sorry I couldn't give you a ride. In a pissy way. Like that was even the fucking plan, our plan had nothing to do with his goddamn car.
Also a couple of weeks ago Amelia straight up asked me if I had called her to meet me at a show just because she had her car. Well it is convenient that if you have your car with you we would drive to the after bar, but fuck no that's not why I called and I can get to an after bar or my house on my own. I called because I know she likes that group and she likes to dance...
The only time I have ever straight up called one of them for a ride was when I called Tom to ask if he could take me to the clinic when I had fucking pneumonia and seriously anyone I would call a friend would do that for me and not think anything of it.
Also the other week I called Tom to see if he wanted to go get some tea and he said - are you going to pick me up? I said I was on my bike but I would bike to his house and we could bike to get tea together. Goddammit. I mean, yeah, if someone happens to be driving anyway I might ask if I can hitch a ride with them but otherwise I can get my fucking self around - bike, bus, or taxi.
Anyway no one I know with a car bought it themselves or pays their own insurance so I'm fucking sorry if I didn't get a car handed to me; if I did I'm sure I'd give people rides all the time.
Besides that I really don't think I'm being an ass and asking for lots of rides, I think the car-people I know are like having insecurity issues or something.
I brought all this up drunk on Sunday to Tom and he said I was drunk and he didn't want to talk about it then. Probably it was a pretty tactless way to address it, but I had a bug up my ass and it came flying out my mouth.
Oh, and a side note, I'm being a total slut fucking around and fucking in my friendship circle. Probably it's not very smart. It's like I have all this pent up energy from being monogamous and I really want to slut it up for awhile. And yes I'm being safe, physically. Emotionally who knows. I told my slut-companions that I was emotionally unavailalbe a.k.a. not at all interested in it turning into a relationship. But I should probably be careful or things might get real wierd.