I was just a very good girl. A Friend of mine who is leaving for Central America just left, in a very fucked up condition. He and I have a bit of a history and frankly I wouldn't mind hooking up with him one bit. He and his friend were over, and I offered for the both of them to crash if they needed/wanted to.
His friend stated that he was going to leave and Friend stated he was going to stay, but we all decided (sorry if this entry is a bit fucked, surprise surprise I am in a bit of a fucked up condition myself) to smoke a cigarette outside first.
As we were smoking, I was thinking of V's ethics on helping someone cheat on their Other. See, Friend is going south with his girlfriend for about 6 months, who I don't know well but like very much every time I interact with her. I was pondering how I would like to fuck around with Friend, and how I know (from the beginning of the evening, before I was fucked up) that he really wouldn't mind fucking around with me even to this day. I was trying to decide if V's argument had any merit - that is, she thinks that it isn't her problem if person X sleeps with her when person X is supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with person Y.
I think that while I would love the simple and guilt-free attitude that this mode of ethics provides, I don't agree with it at all. I think, actually, that it is really fucking selfish to allow your lover to fuck over their lover. The point isn't whether or not you are responsible for their relationship succeeding. The fucking point is having a basic respect for the Other Lover and how they might be completely fucked over by that interaction. The point is to not put your sexual/emotional/whatnot needs over the assumed monogamy of the Other Lover. The point is to not treat another human being like shit.
That person thinks, just on a physical level, that they are not fucking or kissing or fingering anyone new when they do one of the previous to their partner. They think that the risk there is what the person has already done, not what they are doing.
This is not even to get into the complicated land that is the emotional ramifacations on that person's life.
This sort of disassociation wouldn't be acceptable in a social justice mentality (well, shit, I'm not the one paying the 14 year old slave wages, I just buy the product), why the hell is it supposed to be accepted in love/sex/whatnot?
I call shannanagins, that's what.
...Anyway, as I was debating what role I had in their relationship (concluded in a stay the fuck out), I decided none of that even mattered.
Friend was clearly fucked up, much more than myself. If he stayed the night my role would be simply to get him a blanket and glass of water, tuck him in goodnight, and find out what time to wake him in the morning.
I had decided this for about 3 minutes when he decided to get a ride home from his friend after all. I walked with him back up to my apartment where he had left his bag. When he left again he asked which direction to go (left or right). My apartment is not complicated. I obviously had made the right decision, even though I never had to execute it.