Some stupid pisshole left the following comment in my diary in response to this entry:
"Um...no one held a gun to your head to marry someone according to INS standards, did they? Why didn't you just say no? you're blaming the INS and racist colonialists for your failing marriage, but you didn't HAVE to marry him; that was your -choice-."
One: Eat shit. If you are going to leave commentary that makes it painfully obvious that you ignored or didn't read all the crap surrounding that entry, or all the complicated whatnot that has been my life for the past three years (try the archives, fuckpole), then at least have the balls to leave an email or url so I can respond to you.
OBVIOUSLY it was my choice, but that "choice" was made in a contextual framework. Get a fucking clue. I could either ditch the relationship all together because the likelihood of he and I ever seeing each other again as a non-married couple was basically nihil due to the regulations imposed by a RACIST and MUSLIM PHOBIC post-911 INS (oh my god and PLEASE don't tell me you're one of those people that thinks racism doesn't exist anymore, I don't EVEN have the patience to look up all those stats independent of class, income, education, etc. for your ass), in which case I would always wonder what might have happened; or, I could marry him and give it a go. I love the shit out of him and I absolutely made the right decision: in that particular CONTEXT.
So are you suggesting I should have just assumed it would have failed and said no right away? Because I think that is utter bullshit. Having problems at a time in our relationship does NOT negate how wonderful the majority of it has been. Or are you suggesting that he has a rat's chance in hell of getting another type of VISA to come share our lives here as a jobless, non-IT savvy, black Muslim from West Africa? Because if you are you obviously have not run the fucking loops that I have with how our VISA system works. Look the shit up yourself, here is a site where you can start. Just try navigating that webfuck and see how far you get before you want to stab your own eyes out.
And lastly, I and ONLY I, get to decide if my marriage is "failing" or not. PLEASE don't take some tiny assed window into my life - whatever I happen to be thinking and feeling at a particular moment in time - as your leeway to think you know a goddamned thing about me. Especially considering that you have made it painfully obvious that you read only an entry or two before spouting off your "anon" crapola.
Actually, right now things are fucking awesome between us. We have graduated to an open marriage, which is basically my long held dream come true. I went home with a girl the other night - I told her all about Ponge and him all about her and things are swell all around. Honesty and integrity can do amazing things when you love in the way that we do.
A diary is a place to vent. Do me a favor and don't assume my ventings are all that there is, and don't bother to write anything on here if you aren't going to take responsibility for it.