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total my so called life entry.

so, it's like, people either grew up with family and were fucked up by it; or like, had no family and are currently fucked up by that.

i'm mostly in the latter category. but i realize that just because you had a stay at home mom that you have lots of memories with, doesn't mean your absent workoholic dad is less painful, or that you have a positive feeling towards your mother figure.

my family always seemed totally fucking normal to me as a kid, but the more i hang out with other humans the more i realize most people actually have familial obligations and such. my whole family is so small. not even small, like, huge, but still small. as in, technically i have some fair amount of family members, but i barely even talk to the few i used to have regular contact with - namely, my mom and brother.

what the fuck is it about the goddamn holiday season that makes me bash my head against my life so hard concerning my family?

i hate this time of year more than any other, although i have lingering feelings of nostalgia and expectations of good will.

its getting so i dont even fucking care about halloween anymore - the pre-holiday pressure is even creeping in there.

but FUCK i stated I was DETERMINED not to let holiday misery/ winter depression get to me this year.

meow. meow. meow.

20.10.09....5:45 am


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/20.10.09....5:45 am/ meow.

/18.08.09....11:42 am/ 21 Jump Street

/14.08.09....10:49 am/ findin somethin to DO

/10.08.09....12:06 pm/ still bored

/10.08.09....12:06 pm/ still bored

this is a space maker

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